Things No Longer Allowed Involving Shipgirls (KagamiRose)
by KagamiRose
Summary: This is my version of the TNLAIS list starting from rule 1, some rules may be changed or swapped with others, especially if they involve crossovers. Some themes are being taken from CV12Hornets story as they were inspirations. I am using this list as prompts to help improve my writing, please review. Rated M for violence, implied sexual content, swearing, and gore.
1. Rule 1

**Rule 1: No giving Kongo anything stronger than British tea - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

* * *

"Good morning Onee-san," Hiei said with an energetic smile as she entered the battleship dorm common room. Kongo was drinking her tea happily, while the other battleships lounged around or carried on their various tasks. Nagato was reading the Art of War like normal, while Mutsu was digging through her cabinet looking for something. Yamashiro was fussing over Fuso, who was sighing mournfully over her omelet as Shigure, the destroyer on dorm duty that morning, brought out one for the other battleship. Ise was talking animatedly to Hyuuga who was smiling calmly while cleaning one of the katana's from her collection. Yamato was drinking tea on the porch outside the common room as sakura blossoms fell in the courtyard beside her. Musashi sat beside and slightly behind her sistership, evoking the image of a samurai guarding their daimyo. Kirishima and Haruna were both away on missions for the next day or so.

"Good morning Hiei-san, this tea is just divine, I don't know who bought it for me but I must find out so I can thank them," Kongo replied with a demure smile as she sat with her morning tea spread, it's British nature a stark contrast to the rest of the room and even Kongo's own outfit. Although her features were definitely those of a beautiful British lady, she wore her shrine maiden outfit proudly.

"Speaking of tea do any of you know where the tea I bought the other day is? Yuudachi-chan offered to put things away for me when I was called away for an emergency sortie," Mutsu asked as she pulled her head out of her cabinet.

"What was it called?" Nagato asked as she set her book down, turning her attention to her sistership, her steely eyes focusing solely on to the attractive brunette, eliciting a small blush from the other woman.

"It's called Zest Tea Blue Lady, it's supposed to be a tea with more caffeine than normal," Mutsu replied, looking anywhere but at her sister.

"I didn't think you normally drank caffeinated drinks," Hyuuga said as she whipped the oil from her blade.

"Its for days when I have a lot of paperwork, like today I need to file several reports due to that sortie yesterday," Mutsu replied, with a resigned look on her face.

Everyone nodded except for Kongo who was sitting stone still with a smile frozen on her face. After a few seconds a loud crack sounded out through the room as she shattered the handle of her tea cup with her finger strength before she shot up and bolted from the room like a woman possessed.

"BBBBUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG LLLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEE!"

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"So, does someone want to explain this to me," Admiral Kagami Izumi asked as she stared over her desk at the cowering Yudachi, and her basses two members of the Big Seven. Her Secretary ship Ooyoda and her Flagship Fubuki were standing on either side of the door, the tied up and struggling form of Kongo in front of them.

"It appears that Yudachi-chan accidentally placed my extra strength tea into Kongo's cabinet because it was tea. Kongo-san didn't react well to it," Mutsu replied with a sigh.

"I see," Kagami replied, threading her fingers together and locking eyes with the struggling form of Kongo, "well, looks like I have an email to send out. Fubuki-san, once Kongo-san calms down I want her writing up the report for damages. Review it and have it on my desk by Friday."

"Ma'am!" Fubuki exclaimed, snapping to attention and giving a salute before reaching down and grabbing the fast battleship with the help of Oyoda and dragging her from the room, revealing the smashed office outside of the doors.

* * *

**Rule 1B: No giving Kongo any coffee either - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

**Rule 1C: Especially not if its proper Navy Coffee - Admiral John Shepherd**

* * *

"Hey Cocksuckers!" California yelled as she and Kongo entered the mess, "Take a seat and I'll grab you some food."

Kongo nodded in thanks and sat with the other battleships, beside Iowa. The blond woman smiled at her, "So Granny, it's your week to train us, what's on the agenda today?"

"Well brat, I think I'll have you doing fighting practice all day," Kongo shot back good naturally. California brought two trays loaded up with a battleships serving of food and a steaming cup each. As the battleships began to tuck into their meals an air raid siren blared out and red lights began to flash throughout the mess.

"ALL HANDS MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! ENEMY AIR RAID AND ASSAULT FLEET DETECTED! PLANE ARRIVAL IN FOURTEEN MINUTES! ALL WARSHIPS MAKE YOUR BEST TIME TO NAVAL FORTRESS NORTH ISLAND AND TAKE UP FIRING POSITIONS! ALL HANDS MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!"

Every hand in the mess responded with the speed and training of hardened warriors who have drilled in what to do at this alert many times. Shoveling their food into their mouths, running from the building with their plates and eating as they went, and taking their drinks with them. Kongo was among the people who took her drink, downing its bitter contents without thinking as she bolted for the harbor. She realized that something was wrong as her feet hit the water and her vision was starting to go red.

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"So, we need to make a call to Yakouska," Missouri reported through her radio to Admiral Shepherd.

"What hap-" his question was cut off as Kongo let out her war cry, "BBBBUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG LLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE!"

Her cannons roared once again as she tore into the Abyssal surface fleet at close range, hefting a destroyer in each hand and using their whale like forms as clubs to beat the other enemy ships to pieces, discarding one of the destroyers whenever it was more or less turned into paste. Most of the ships on the North Island battle line were sitting back relaxing, watching, drinking coffee, and putting bets on how many the British Japanese battlecruiser would kill before the enemy fleet broke and ran

* * *

**Rule 1D: Espresso is right out - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

* * *

"Welcome," Roma greeted the Kongo and her escort, Hiei, Kiso, Shouhou, Asashio, and Murasame as she entered the Naples Naval Base.

"Good morning Miss Roma," Kongo returned as she set down her rigging in the arsenal, "I hate to be rude but is the mess still open?"

"Yes, there won't be a meal at this time but you can always get something to eat," Roma replied as she guided their guest to the mess. The two battleships were discussing the training plan for the capital ships, while the escort looked around at the different scenery with mild interest. When they arrived at the counter everything was written in Italian, causing most of the Japanese girls to look to their guide for aid as even the few of them who had learned more than a passing amount of the language had trouble reading it.

After explaining what the food was Roma asked if they had any preference for drinks. She looked somewhat scandalized when they said they were fine with letting her choose for them as they loaded up on food. As Roma went to the drink area she had a wicked idea. They didn't know what they wanted, she would get them all different drinks with extra caffeine in it. With a wide grin she began to punch in the drinks on the machine.

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Roma groaned as Littorio pulled her out of the wall of the mess hall. Littorio looked around and sighed before glaring at her sistership, "Your lucky that Kongo made a beeline for the ocean after she tore up this place, and repairs are coming from your pay."

The hall had been well and truly destroyed, what had been the door was now a nearly four meter wide hole in the wall. The area to collect food was a shattered slab embedded into the wall. Several destroyers were hiding in what remained of the kitchen as most of the tables had ended up in there and it seemed that the drink dispenser had ended up put through one of the side walls and into the restrooms. The entire room was sporting cracked plaster and an almost collapsing roof as well as several holes in the floor where the battlecruiser had torn things from the ground. The Japanese escort fleet was sitting back in one of the few booth seats that was still in place and drinking their coffee's calmly.

"Did you send out a message to Fubuki-san?" Hiei asked as she waited for her sister to calm down and come back.

"Yep," Shouhou replied as the light carrier closed her phone, "She said the admiral is going to be making a new addition to the list, another amendment to the first rule."

Across the bench the girls gave a collective sigh.

* * *

**Rule 1E: Dammit who gave her a pitcher of espresso made to taste and look like tea - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

* * *

"Has anyone seen my Black Tea Espresso?" Taiho asked as she walked from the carrier dorm into the battleship dorm. Every ship in the dorm immediately shot up except for Kirishima who bolted from the room, Musashi barking out, "Wheres Kongo-senpai!?"

"I don't know," Kirishima said as she returned to the room. Their question was quickly answered by the shout that sounded out over the base.

"BBBBUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG! LLLLLLOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE!"

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Ooyoda, Fubuki, Tenryu, Shimakaze, and Zuikaku were currently fighting a demonically hyped up Kongo, Maya and Kako were already unconscious by the gardens entrance, trying to subdue the old battlecruiser. It wasn't going well, even as the shipsgirls slugged it out with the manic woman, she was pushing the assembled ships back. Fubuki spun her spear, barely missing the older ships calf before the same leg she tried to cut slammed into her gut and threw her into a hedge where she stuck, her legs kicking as she tried to right herself. Ooyoda, Zuikaku, and Tenryu were thrown back after their katana's collided with the British broadsword, easily overwhelmed by the heavy ships raw strength. With the other girls out of the way Shimakaze blurred forward, becoming a flurry of motion as she ran at Kongo who readied her sword to meet the charge. Kongo brought her blade down to intercept the rapidly advancing destroyer, however when the blade slashed through the white rabbit it met no resistance. Kongo's eyes widened as she turned her head to look behind her as the afterimage faded. Shimakaze was in a low crouch, her twin wakizashi ready before she burst into motion.

Kongo didn't feel anything as the destroyer slashed more than a dozen wounds in her back and legs. She did notice the loss of her ability to use her left leg and right arm as she brought her broadsword around behind her back to strike at her assailant. Shimakaze easily jumped over the swing, bringing one blade down into Kongo's good shoulder, using the weapon to vault herself over and out of the range of the caffeine mad battlewagon. Kongo struggled to rise but she never made it as Zuikaku had gotten back to her feet and, foregoing her sword, smashed her armored flight deck/sheath down onto Kongo's head, like a hammer striking an anvil, hard enough to snap the object in two. The battlecruiser's eyes rolled into her head as she keeled over to the side unconscious.

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"So, what lessons can you take away from this," Konata Izumi asked as she sat with her feet dangling into the heated water that filled the normal baths, the seven ships involved in the fight submerged further in, in the light repair baths.

"That I should head out to sea the moment I know somethings wrong after I have a drink," Kongo grumbled from her heavy repair bath, its repair solution died crimson with her blood as was usual for the single person heavy repair baths.

"Not a bad idea, but I was going for, 'don't drink unknown liquids even if they taste like tea.' Seems like a good idea given your history and how badly you react to coffee. I swear, I haven't seen any anime with a character that goes berserk when they drink coffee or powerful tea, that's a good idea. Kinda like Rock Lee but funnier," Konata sighed as she stood up and moved to leave, "Well, you don't need to worry about paperwork because you managed to avoid doing anything more than bruising these seven and causing a noise complaint from Sendai and some of the late risers. You don't need a follow up appointment with me either."

* * *

**Rule 1F: Whoever tried to give her a black blood of the earth will receive a suitable punishment when found - High Admiral of the Navy Kagami Izumi**

**Rule 1G: She was running on water and smacking down abyssals without her rigging dammit - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" John C. Butler asked as they slipped into the Yokosuka Naval Base's battleship dorms built in kitchen.

"It's gonna be fine," Heermann replied as she snagged Kongo's tea pot from the tray that had been prepared for when she got up in a few minutes. Quickly dumping out the tea she held out her hand for the thermos Butler was carrying. The Destroyer Escort opened the thermos and handed it to the Destroyer who quickly dumped the contents into the teapot and replacing the pot. Afterwards they quickly cleared out of the area.

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"Good morning Kongo-senpai," Mutsuki greeted the battlecruiser as she brought out her morning tea. The elegant woman smiled at her, "Good morning Mutsuki-chan. Thank you."

Kongo poured herself a cup of tea absentmindedly as she thought of the operation they were planning for a landing on Borneo. They would need to use the Phillipeans base as a staging ground. She dipped one of her cookies into her tea and ate a small bite. Instantly she knew something was wrong! Her vision began to bleed red as her boilers tried to process the new fuel. She bolted from the room, bursting through the closed doors and making a beeline for the harbor as the world blurred crimson and her boilers gave what felt like a shuddering explosion before going into overdrive.

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"Does anyone want to tell me what I'm seeing?" Admiral of the Navy John Shepherd ground out to the emergency meeting of the International Board of Admirals. They were all watching footage from a scout drone that was flying around Borneo, gathering intelligence for their upcoming invasion.

"Looks like a British shipgirl going absolutely insane on abyssals. Why is she dressed like that though?" Admiral Tanya Degurechaff replied as she sipped coffee, smirking at her British counterpart. She wouldn't deny though, that was some very impressive carnage the shipgirl was unleashing.

"It's not one of my girls," Admiral of the Fleet Rias Gremory replied as she watched the footage, sipping her tea calmly, "By the way, where is her rigging?"

"That's a good question," Shepherd said as he looked to the other admirals for answers. Admiral of the Fleet Katyusha from Russia just looked impressed at the carnage. Combined Fleet Admiral Jane Shepherd, his sister who technically lead these meetings shook her head indicating she had no answers for him. High Admirals Rimuru Tempest and Shiraori were dumbfounded by the sight. Theywere in charge of managing the foreign shipgirls in Japan so that was a bad sign. He hasn't bothered to learn the Italian, Turkish, or French Admirals names yet, they likely wouldn't be around more than a couple of months seeing as they were temporary replacements and their basses went through admirals like toilet paper. They last six months and he would memorize their names, anyway they were just shaking their heads.

"That is Kongo-san, one of my girls," High Admiral Kagami Izumi replied as her eyes bore holes into the screen, "And this is the result of someone attempting to play a prank on her. She is banned from having anything stronger than normal tea, even extra strength tea sends her berserk. This morning her tea was made by the destroyer on duty and brought to her as is the norm. She was somewhat distracted and poured the drink before dipping a small biscuit in it and taking a bite. She almost immediately bolted for the door, sending them flying into two nearby cars as she made her best speed for the water. She then proceeded to forgo her equipment and run out to sea under her own steam. We investigated and found someone had dumped her tea into a nearby sink and replaced it a currently unidentified liquid. My flagship Fubuki-san immediately assembled a pursuit fleet and followed as best they were able."

"Hence the group of shipgirls sitting back and watching," Rias said as the camera panned a little and catching a small group of shipgirls watching the devastation before returning to Kongo who was presently swinging around a Flagship Ta-class battleship by one leg and use it like a mace to beat down another Ta-class.

Yuubari entered the office with a grim look on her face, "Ma'am, I identified that liquid. Its Black Blood of the Earth coffee, I've used it before when I was too tired and wanted to finish a project."

Several admirals swore and a few paled.

"I move to immediately find and punish whoever was responsible for this," Kagami growled, the look on her face, daring anyone to say otherwise. A round of seconded coursed out through the video conference.

"Well look on the bright side," Tanya said with an amused smirk, "She's slaughtering that fleet we were so worried about, at this rate we might not even need to send in support from the Atlantic theater."


	2. Rule 2

**Rule 2: Stop giving bottle rockets to the younger destroyers, unless you are willing to make repairs on your own - Admiral John Shepherd**

* * *

Johnston was whistling happily as she went to the weekly meeting of Taffy 3. Opening the door she saw her sisterships, Hoel and Heermann, the DE's Dennis, John C. Butler, Raymond, and Samuel B. Roberts, and the CVE's Fanshaw Bay, , White Plains, Kalinin Bay, Kitkun Bay, and Gambier Bay. She entered the room with a cheery greeting, "WASUP!?"

"Johnston! You will never guess what Sammy B. and White Plains got when they went up to Seattle," Heerman said with a smirk. Gambier Bay, Dennis, Hoel, and Kitkun Bay looked uncomfortable while the other carrier's and DE's looked interested. Johnston looked at her sistership suspiciously, "What?"

"Bottle rockets!" Sammy exclaimed, pulling up the fireworks in question. Johnston looked at her, then at Heermann and White Plains, "You realize this could go very badly?"

Her face split into a massive grin, "What's the plan?"

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The device was Jerry rigged at best, loose staples holding the sticks loosely in their paths, their fuses bound together with homemade slow burn fuses. There were four rows of the missiles each five wide. The four ships took the launcher to the roof of the newly built escort ship dorm, nearly five stories up, and propped it up on the roof edge, facing roughly in the direction of the grassy area beside the building, nearly fifty feet of unobstructed distance across. They lit the fuses and backed off with wicked grins on their faces. The fuses burned down and the rockets shot into the air quite a ways, before falling to the earth. They didn't hit the ground though, four fell onto the top of the capital ship dorm, another three flew further and collided with the command building with two going through open windows. The rest of the rockets flew in every direction. It wasn't until roughly thirty seconds after the disappointed ships lost sight of the rockets that the first one went off, then the next, until all twenty had exploded.

"We are so screwed," White Plains said simply as the four of them stared glassy eyed at the base as alarms blared and personnel went running.

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"So, you two bought bottle rockets from a reservation on your way back from Seattle. You announced it at your Taffy 3 gathering, and decided to set off a small firework show," Admiral John Shepherd said, his eyes closed and his fingers crossed as he sat behind his desk. On either side of his office doors were two members of his human staff, Liara T'soni and Miranda Lawson, and two of the capital ships, Missouri and Lexington. In front of his desk at attention were the four responsible shipgirls and filling the left side of his office where squads gathered for their assignments was the rest of Taffy 3, at parade rest. Shepherd sighed before continuing, "And most of you didn't think to bring this knowledge to anyone else, knowing what it might cause. Hoel, you are free to go seeing as your the only one of your group who actually went to someone because you thought it was a bad idea."

Hoel snapped to attention and left without a word. As the door closed he laid down their punishments, "Taffy 3, collectively your ice cream privileges are revoked for a month and you are confined to the base. Destroyer Escorts you are on dorm cleaning duties for that time and Escort Carriers, you are on duty in the submarine mess. You're dismissed."

As the rest of Taffy 3 snapped to attention and filed out of the room dejectedly all eyes turned to the remaining four. With a loud slam the two human women slammed the doors shut. John was looking at the four with a dark smile, "It is common knowledge at this base that I am former Spec Ops, and my human staff that are in charge of you all are members of the squad I commanded, and still do. We were specifically chosen because we are the best, and the politicians thought we could handle you all. This is the first incident that will call their choice into question and given what I know about you all from your files, it won't be the last. I know you four specifically are some of the worst on base at this time, however as we are summoning ships almost constantly, I'm sure many will try and give you a run for the title. I have been authorized to use any form of discipline that doesn't kill you. I could have you put through the training I have my squad endure, I could have Vestal and our other repair ships dismantle you and run experiments on to try and help us understand Magical Sparkly Shipgirl Bullshit, for all the good it will do. However given what your last admiral wrote in your records before he suffered his mental breakdown and retired to Kansas because he wanted nothing to do with the Navy or shipgirls ever again. I have a different punishment in mind. You four are confined to quarters for a month. Your phone, computer, and video game privileges are revoked. You will be attending extra classes with your instructors behind you. Your time will be managed so that you will wake up, eat, go to classes, eat, attend your extra lessons, eat, carry out your extra duties, report in, and return to your rooms. You will go nowhere else. Every form of entertainment will be removed from your rooms until such time as your punishment is over. the only thing you will be left with is books, and if you desire more you can ask one of your sisters in your morning lessons to bring them to you. Your ice cream privileges are also revoked. Your instructors will escort you back to your rooms. Please give them a reason to use force, those two are my very best."

With a glance both women beside the door moved, opening the door before moving and grabbing the shell-shocked shipgirls and guided them out of the room.


	3. Rule 3

**Rule 3: Trying to get Ooi fixated on something less worrisome is fine, just don't make it someone or something important. - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

**Rule 3A: Double if it's volatile or fragile - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

* * *

"Kitakami-san, let's go out to dinner," Ooi said with a smile as she practically hung off her sistership.

"I have a sortie, I can't," Kitakami replied as she cleaned off her 15cm Triple gun turret.

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"Kitakami-san, do you want to see the new movie at the theater this afternoon?"

"I can't, I have plans to train Fubuki and some of the other destroyers in torpedo runs."

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"Kitakami-san, do you want to go to Mamiya's?"

"I can't, I have cleaning duties in the dorm."

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"Sake please," Ooi requested as she sat down at the bar counter.

"Ooi-chan, it's weird to see you by yourself," Housho commented in concern as she served the torpedo cruiser her drink.

"Kitakami-san is avoiding me!" the torpedo cruiser cried on the bar counter, pounding back a sake shot before filling another. The motherly carrier looked at the other woman and sighed. Ooi's obsession with her sistership was a well known fact around the base, one no one commented on. It was also well known that she annoyed her sister immensely.

"Maybe she just needs a little break," Housho suggested as she watched the torpedo cruiser pound back two shots in quick succession. Glancing to the door with pleading eyes as the cruisers other sistership Kiso walked in.

"Greetings, some light sake please," Kiso ordered as she sat beside her sistership, "Whats up Ooi?"

"Kitakami-san is avoiding me!" Ooi cried again.

"Maybe she has a hobby, or maybe your schedule's aren't matching up. Either way, instead of drinking why don't you get a hobby, you would probably be good at it with all that spare energy you have," Kiso suggested.

"Agreed, and that's all your getting," Housho said, "I didn't open this bar so that shipgirls could drink away their problems."

Ooi looked at them blankly before grabbing the serving jug of sake and draining it in one long gulp.

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Kitakami was getting worried as she knocked on a door in the destroyer dorm.

"Who is it?" Fubuki asked as she opened the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Fubuki-san, I need your help!" Kitakami said, grabbing the Flagships shoulders desperately, snapping the smaller shipgirl awake instantly, "Ooi-san hasn't been answering her door. She missed an exercise, and no one has seen her. I had to cover for her on the sortie today, and Kiso-san did the one yesterday. She hasn't even approached me in the last week, not that I'm complaining about that, but its strange and worrying given who it is."

"What do you want me to do," Fubuki asked as she grabbed something around waist height and pushed it to the side, making the light cruiser flinch as she saw Murakumo's spear move away from her gut, the overprotective tsundere destroyer glaring at her from behind her sisterships back, held in check by the rooms other occupant, Uranami.

"I need your permission as Flagship to break down her door, my sisterships are ready to drag her out if needed. And if she's doing anything wrong having you there will help us resolve it without any of my sisters... quirky improvisations. You know how they are," Kitakami pleaded.

"Makes sense," Fubuki replied, "Murakumo-chan, go grab the Kagero sisters and Shimakaze, Uranami-chan grab the Shiratsuyu sisters. I'll grab our sisterships and the Mutsuki sisters. Kitakami-san be waiting with your sisters at Ooi's dorm room."

The other girls nodded and began moving.

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Standing outside Ooi's room was an eclectic group of destroyers and light cruisers. At a nod from the bases flagship Kiso pulled out her cutlass and proceed to slash the door into three pieces. Kuma smashed the sliced door into the room and her sisters followed, storming in. Sighting Ooi beside a torpedo they immediately tackled the girl, she didn't put up much of a fight as she seemed incredibly loopy. The four of them dragged her from the room as the flood of destroyers entered, sans Amatsukaze and Shimakaze who had come mostly as a handler for the hyperactive free spirited destroyer and for backup force respectively. The other destroyers began to inspect the room, with Yuudachi and Kawakaze immediately moving to the stacks of torpedoes. After about fifteen minutes of digging through everything they thought was suspicious Fubuki asked, "Anyone found anything?"

After a stream of 'No's' as the destroyers went down the line of seniority Yudachi spoke up, "These torpedoes have been tampered with, poi. Its weight is wrong, and it feels like the blasting cap and warhead has been removed."

Fubuki came over to the two destroyer's examining the nearly two dozen torpedoes, "Crack one open, anyone find those warheads?"

"Found the fuel, it's in cans in here," Mutsuki said from inside the closet. Tokitsukaze spoke from beside the dresser, sniffing out the scent of explosives with her extremely strong nose, "I think I got the warheads under her shirts, I don't want to mess with them though."

Yuudachi and Kawakaze carefully opened the torpedo, filling the room with the scent of strong alcohol. The other shipgirls covered their noses, "Why is it so strong, they were only having problems for a week and a half?"

"MSSB, I don't know," Fubuki said around her hand, "Dispose of that alcohol, and someone call in the EOD squad, we need that fuel and those warheads disposed of. Evacuate the dorms for the time being. No one comes in until it's clear!"


	4. Rule 4

**Rule 4: Tenryu is no longer allowed to go to metal concerts and come back to base while she's still excited from it - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

* * *

Tenryu screamed alongside the rest of the fans as the band onstage played so fast that it looked like their hands were a blur even to the superhuman light cruiser. Dragonforce was tearing it up on their international tour. One of the normalicies of the world was strangely that intercontinental travel by planes had not been stopped by the abyssal invasion. Tenryu greatly appreciated that as she got to see so many bands when they hit Tokyo for their tours. Plus Tatsuta never wanted to come with her to these concerts. It was one of the few times that she could get away from her clingy and mildly sadistic sistership.

As the song finished the fans screamed for more. In the mosh pit someone punched Tenryu in the back of the head. She lashed out with her fist, causing several cracks and a new kind of screaming to sound out through the crowd. Ignoring the wounded person she went back to enjoying the concert. That wasn't the end of it though as one of the person's friends grabbed her radar like ears and yanked hard. She let out a cry of pain and launched herself into her assailant, her vision burning as she went to town on her assailant. And they just kept coming as her blood boiled with the beat of the music and the rush of battle.

five minutes later she was still on her battle high as the music wound down, she and the others had been pushed to the back of the pit and nearly out the door, around her were seven people, unconscious. Looking at the stage she saw the curtains fall, signaling the end of the concert.

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The adrenaline high light cruiser walked onto base at nearly midnight. Music blared through her mechanical ears as she walked to the dorm. She didn't see or hear the person coming up behind her. It wasn't until she felt a hand grab her shoulder that her brain snapped into action, spinning she backhanded the person behind her before kneeing them in the gut, punching her in the face and finally grabbing their throat and smashing them into the ground. Something hit her from behind and a blinding pain shot through her back before she turned to her new assailant. Then she got hit from another side and then another. Multiple assailants that were strong enough to hurt her, breaking through the adrenaline high, before finally someone punched her in the face with enough force she thought she was being shot by a battleships primary batteries, and everything went dark.

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"Alright Tenryu-san... Thank Haruhi you didn't run into Kiso-san like that, I can only imagine the damage you would have done had you fought her like that," Konata sighed as she sat in the baths beside her wife. Kagami carried on where her mellower half left off, "On the other hand you did manage to put Fubuki-san into the drydock. Akashi-san says she should be ok in a few days. Murakumo-chan was in favor of breaking your neck in return. But, I think we have a better idea. After Zuikaku-san knocked you unconscious Tatsuta-san stepped forward. You are far to wild, so I think we should give you some responsibilities, and your sistership suggested a brilliant idea."

Taking that as a signal Tatsuta opened the door and let in four young looking girls, just under four feet tall, two brunettes, one girl with snow colored hair and another with raven hair. Tenryu's eyes widened in horror as her admiral dolled out her fate, "Tenryu-san, meet Destroyer Division 4. They are now your charges. You are their flotilla leader with Tatsuta-san being your second. They have been instructed that they are your responsibility though. Tatsuta-san will only help you in combat leadership. Have fun."

"I'm Akatsuki! Treat me like the fully-fledged lady that I am!" The raven haired girl said haughtily, puffing up her chest in a manner that when mixed with her diminutive stature and young appearance only served to make her look adorable.

"I'm Hibiki. I'm also referred to as "The Phoenix" from my exploits." the snow haired destroyer introduced herself, her voice soft and quiet.

"I'm Ikazuchi! Feel free to rely on me!" The first and more boisterous brunette said as she thumped her chest with her fist.

"I'm Inazuma-nanodesu. Pleased to meet you." The second and more reserved of the brunettes said.

Tenryu let out a sound like a tire deflating as she slumped forward in the heavy repair baths, reopening the spear wound in her back. The girls immediately began to panic as Tatsuta gave the sight a small smile. She was sure that this would work out splendidly in the end, all of her plans for Tenryu did eventually.


	5. Rule 5

**Rule 5: Willie D is not allowed near the missile store - Admiral John Shepherd** (A/N An alternative list post on forum by Tabasco because I couldn't think of a different way to do the muffin rule other than how CV12Hornet did it)

* * *

William D Porter wanted to cry as she wandered through the massive coastal fortress. She and her classmates in the 31st Destroyer class had come to the Point Loma Naval Defense fortress on a field trip to see the defensive emplacements that stood guard over the United States and more specifically the Naval Fortress San Diego as the city was now called. As San Diego had lost its once thriving international trade and the amount of military personal and bases increased rapidly the city of course changed, as had all coastal cities. The massive skyscrapers had been brought down in the first few relentless Abyssal attacks and in their place was a series of large futuristic buildings designed to be resistant even artillery fire. The entire city had changed in reaction to the new enemy of humanity, and the cruisers wanted them to see that first hand.

The massive multi layered naval fort that had been assembled along the west coast of the United States was a maze. The fortress was one of many that ran along the west coast of the United States to defend it, and Willie D was hopelessly lost within its maze like interior. She had topped to go to the bathroom and when she emerged her class was nowhere to be found. If she could just find her way to the outside she could make her way back to the entrance but she just seemed to be working her way deeper into the massive labyrinth like structure.

After about twenty minutes she managed to find her way to a ladder that lead up. Climbing she entered a somewhat large room with a steel door on one side, likely facing west. Inside the room was what appeared to be a weapon system of some kind. She guessed a Short Ranged Missile Pod as she knew that this fortress didn't have any Long Range Missiles in it, those were further inland. Sighing she sat down with her back against the missile pods and pulled off one of her shoes as her feet hurt from walking on the concrete for so long. After massaging her sore feet for a few minutes she began to look around for a way out, or to open the missile doors. Walking around to towards the side of the pod she saw what looked like a control panel, glancing at it it was fore the missile's themselves and not the door. As she made a mental note not to touch it she tripped over her own feet and fell onto the panel. With a loud roar the missile pods opened and their rockets ignited, "Awe, crud!"

As Willie covered her face the missiles shot straight into the steel doors and exploded.

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Portland sighed as she surveyed the damage alongside the Colonel in charge of the fortress. The three foot steel doors that guarded the launcher were toast, as was the launcher itself. The opening they would have fired from was now a gaping hole from the area where the doors and their machinery had punched through the concrete as it was blown out. The room was a mess as the explosion had inflicted structural damage and destroyed a massive amount of the equipment that had previously occupied the room for either the launcher or the doors.

"I am reporting this to Admiral Shepherd. Just so we're clear," The Colonel said as he surveyed the damage. Portland sighed before looking a Willie D who was a sobbing shivering mess, crying into Iowa's chest as the battleship held her protectively. Said battleship was glaring at both Portland and the Colonel, "Why was it not noticed that Willie wasn't with the group? Why was this area not guarded while the tour went through? The Admiral warned you that you needed to take extra precautions! You're right, the Admiral will hear about this, when I recommend he officially write you up for INCOMPETENCE! And Portland, you were in charge of Willie's group! I divided this tour into groups with five destroyers per each cruiser so that it would be easier to keep an eye on things! The other cruisers didn't have any problems, what's your excuse?"


	6. Rule 6

**Rule 6) Kongo is no longer allowed to watch US army videos. - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

**Rule 6A) and stop coming to the Flagships every time one of your sisterships does something stupid - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

**Rule 6B) All personal weapon purchases must be approved in writing by the base admiral, secretary ship, and flagship - San Diego Secretary Ship Missouri**

* * *

"So what exactly is the problem with Kongo-san?" Fubuki asked with a sigh, Kongo's sisters had filled her small office. Hiei having stormed in and demanded she do something about her sister's behavior.

"She's been watching Army video's ever since one appeared in her youtube suggestions! Last week she went out into the woods and when I saw her this morning, she was dressed in camouflage and looked half manic! She's been out in Aokigahara* for that entire time," Hiei practically screamed at her.

With another sigh Fubuki stood up, looking eye to eye with the hunched over battleship as she grabbed her kosoda and yanked forward, pulling her off balance and bringing them near nose to nose, "You three will! figure! this! out! I do not care how! I will not be calling any of our special squads! You will not be bothering any of my girls! You are all over a century old and some of the most experienced combatants in the fleet! Deal with this problem!"

Hiei gulped and nodded before backpedaling out of the room followed by Haruna and Kirishima. With another sigh Fubuki slumped back down into her desk and her hand drooped to the side, landing on a bob of blond hair and beginning to pet it slowly.

"Poi?" Yuudachi asked from where she sat, leaning against Fubuki's desk, as she nuzzled against the stroking hand.

"Just a little irritated about everyone running to me to solve their problems, even ones that they should fix themselves," Fubuki replied before looking down at the other destroyer, "Now, lets see that homework. You better be at least half done with it by now, I almost finished my paperwork."

With a little whimper Yuudachi held up her mostly complete homework. Fubuki looked through it, nodding occasionally, before saying, "Well, you finished, but your accuracy is terrible. You do excellent with practical work, how can you be so good at using this stuff without knowing its capabilities?"

"Poi!"

"Well, no matter. Once we get to the dorm we'll sit down with the others and all go over everyone's work."

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"What do we do-HIEI!?" Hiei cried as she pulled on her hair.

"We have to try something," Haruna said demurely.

"I've already set it in motion," Kirishima said as she adjusted her glasses, "We just have to wait for her to take the bait."

"When did you do that Imouto-chan?" Haruna asked in surprise.

"Before Hiei-oneesan went charging off to bother Fubuki, now she just needs to take the bait."

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Admiral Kagami looked at the unconscious form of Kongo, then up at her sister's who had been dragging her. The English born battleship was in torn camo pants and a brown shirt. She looked to be covered in dirt and mud like she had been out in the wilderness and her hair was filled with twigs and other debris. She also appeared to be soaked with tea. To the left of where she had found them she saw a tea set that looked like someone had collapsed on it.

"So, I take it this is what Fubuki-san texted me about?" she asked giving them a bland look.

"Yes Ma'am," Hiei exclaimed.

"Get her cleaned up, and make sure this doesn't happen again," Kagami ordered before continuing on her way to her car, admiral she may be but she was not jumping on a solved problem. She would put out an update for the list tomorrow but tonight, tonight she had a lovely date with her wife to get to.

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"Missouri," Admiral Shepherd yelled at his door. The silver haired battleship burst into his office with a look of panic on her face before realizing that there wasn't anything wrong.

"Do you need something sir?" She asked uneasily, the secretary ship looked at him uneasily.

"I need you to get in contact with the IT's! We need every single video relating to any of the armed forces on youtube set with content filters! Wait get Intrepid, she'll be faster!" Her admiral ordered half frantically, "We need to prevent something like what happened in Japan! And we would have it even worse because they have direct access to the other armed forces!"

"Admiral, I just wanted to let you know that Gatling and Johnston bought a minigun," Gambier Bay said as she walked through the door behind Missouri, "They said they saw some youtube videos about Warthogs mounted with them."

Missouri face palmed while Shepherd smashed his head into his desk beside his laptop, the screen of which proudly displayed what was quickly becoming an infamous list around the base and its newest entry.

* * *

*A forest on the northwest face of Mount Fuji, also known as the 'Sea of Trees' and also called the 'Suicide Forest.'*


	7. Rule 7

**Rule 7) Dakota and Musashi are no longer allowed to spontaneously challenge each other to surprise cooking duels using street rules - American Pacific Flagship Enterprise**

**Rule 7A) If they want to have a match fine, just pass it by the admiral and staff first - San Diego Secretary Ship Missouri**

* * *

Musashi sighed as she worked in the kitchen of the massive American base. While the Japanese fleet was strong enough the country lacked the resources to continuously field their heavier fighters like her and her sister. Until the transcontinental railroad gets finished they wouldn't have a reliable enough supply of oil to field either her or her sister in more than emergency operations. America on the other hand was as normal a land of excess. Especially with how they had managed to figure out ways around the slowly shrinking naval trade. In the half a decade since the abyssals had appeared the massive country had focused its resources to reducing its fuel consumption. The fact that its navy now was fueled by mostly high calorie foods, although they could consume oil if needed greatly helped the country.

She had been lent to the large country to help train their battleships on unconventional ways to fight with their new bodies as well as to train the smaller ships on ways to fight heavier ships. Right now though she was desperately trying to fight her boredom and loneliness as her sister had been sent to Germany for much the same reason and she wasn't used to being alone. As she went about making curry she heard the door open.

"Oh, it's just you," A voice said from the door, "damn."

"Is there something wrong with me being here?" Musashi asked as she turned to see the rude woman was South Dakota.

"Nah, just was hoping someone good at cooking was making food. Now I have to make my own," The American battleship said as she moved towards the pantry.

`"Are you saying there is something wrong with I, Musashi's cooking?" The Japanese battleship asked with a sharp edge of hostility in her voice.

"Nah, it's probably good for your little island country, but I prefer something with a little more flavor than raw fish," The cocky american battleship said snidely.

"I will not let that remark slide," Musashi half growled.

"What are the rules?" South Dakaot asked with a smirk. Muashi gave her a razor toothed grin in return, "Rules? The only rule is the best battleship left standing!"

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"So why are we here?" North Carolina asked Hornet. The carrier shrugged before adjusting the brim of her cowboy hat, "I don't know, SoDak wanted us down here."

Just then the battleship burst into the room followed by Musashi, both of them with a large food dolly. The american battleship said, "You girls are here to judge, who's the better cook?"

South Dakota pulled open her platter to reveal twenty two succulent looking stakes. The other americans knowing how skilled a cook the eldest South Dakota could be grabbed their stakes and quickly began to devour them. The perfectly cooked and seasoned meat practically melting in their mouth. They ate it joyously. Once they were done Musashi opened her platter and everyone began to salivate. South Dakota realised that she might be in trouble as Musahsi presented them all with some fancily made japanese meal along with a rather large helping of sake from rather expensive looking bottles. As the capital ships took their first bite the americans eyes rolled into the backs of their heads as they made noises entirely inappropriate for a public space before slumping bonelessly in their seats, panting. Musashi's smirked as she watched the assembled twenty one american capital ships, half the bases current complement of capital ships fell bonelessly to the ground after trying her food.

"I've still got it," She said as she finished her meal and stood up to leave the room, ignoring the writhing and moaning girls around her as she knew they would recover in time, although they might be a little embarrassed. Just as she exited Enterprise walked in through the door on the other side of the mess. Her grey eyes took in everyone in the room before latching on to Hornet and Essex. She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a text before walking over to the others girls to help her sistership and her companion.

* * *

**Rule 7B) They are not also not allowed to play with super freezing things - Admiral John Shepherd**

**Rule 7C) Even if the iced orange slices were nice on that summer day - American Pacific Flagship Enterprise**

* * *

"Goddess, it's so hot!" Musashi groaned as she fanned herself. The bases AC had broken and her internal AC could only do so much. It was just her luck that her fleet was in San Diego in the height of summer and the basses AC broke.

"Want to do something to beat the heat?" South Dakota asked from where she sat beside the other battleship, trying to catch the draft from the fan above.

"What do you have in mind?" Musashi groaned.

"I got in a few cans of liquid oxygen yesterday, want to play with some?"

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"These oranges are great! Right Enterprise?" Zuikaku gushed as she ate another slice of the super chilled mandarin orange.

"Mn," the silver haired carrier replied as she chewed on her own slice. Belfast hummed in agreement as she popped another slice into her mouth, "They are quite nice. It was wonderful of Musashi-san and South Dakota to make them for everyone."

As the three of them enjoyed their frozen fruit and the view of the ocean under the beach pavilion while the other ships on base were all either frolicking in the waves, surfing, or sun bathing. Most of them were doing their level best to ignore the massive fortress lined with so much weapons it was often called a concrete battleship by the men and women who manned it. As the three ate their oranges and lounged something occurred to Enterprise. The carrier shot up and bolted in the direction of the sea, pulling her boots on before she could hit sand. Her companions watched her before shrugging and following at a more leisurely pace as the Grey Ghost hit water and took off at flank speed towards the mouth of the harbor. The other two had just nearing the ruins of the original Coronado Bridge when Enterprise hit the base's dock at full speed, making the transition from sea to shore at a breakneck pace that didn't seem to slow as she bolted in the direction of the Repair, Modification, Research, & Development facility. Zuikaku and Belfast looked at each other worriedly and sped up, just as a massive fireball rose from where Enterprise had ran to.

When they arrived they found Enterprise dragging the unconscious form of Vestal out of her half ruined drydock, the highly reinforced wall between it and South Dakota's laboratory having a roughly six foot wide hole blown in it. South Dakota was embedded in the far wall of the drydock where she hit while Musashi, by virtue of her heavier tonnage, was still inside the laboratory embedded into the ground like superman had punched her. Belfast went to help Enterprise with the repair ship Zuikaku followed the trench that Musashi had made in the ground to its origin, where she had been standing when the explosion went off. Looking over everything that remained of their experiment, miraculously the metal table they had been using was intact in spite of its burned frame. What she found underneath it was sheer stupidity. Liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen containers were under the table with hoses hooked up to them that had been torn in the explosion.

"Did you figure out what they were doing?" Belfast asked as she entered the lab to survey the damage.

"I'm pretty sure they were trying to make some propellant. I would need to ask Intrepid-san, she worked with NASA, but I'm pretty sure she mentioned at one point or another while we were playing one of her space strategy games that liquid oxygen and hydrogen combined together can make a rocket fuel," Zuikaku replied as she looked up at the hole blown in the roof, "Musashi-san, how do you keep getting roped into these things? Seriously. Every time you go somewhere without Yamato-san you get into trouble."


	8. Rule 8

**8\. Hiei is to be kept away from durians, period. - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

**8b. No, we don't know how she screwed up simply heating up a cheese sandwich in a microwave. Stop asking. - Yokosuka Destroyer Commander Tenryu**

* * *

"Maybe I should do that nanodesu!" Inazuma said as she fretted, seemingly on the verge of tears. It had to be her duty day when Hiei decided to experiment in the kitchen again.

"Don't worry, I'm just making a sandwich," Hiei replied, sulking a little. That answer in no way seemed to calm the little destroyer though, "Why are you fiddling with the stove then?"

"I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich, have a little faith! I can make simple foods you know!" The battleship waved her worries away as she put the pan on the stove and put the cheese sandwich on it. The burner turned on and quickly heated the pan as Hiei hummed to herself happily. After a few seconds the sound of sizzling filled the room along with a stench so foul that rotting flesh would have looked like perfume in comparison. Inazuma turned to make a run for it as a sickening groaning sound came from the pan. Hiei looked down in confusion before letting out a scream as the contents surged towards her.

"HHHHHIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEGHHLLL!"

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"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING ON MY BASE!" Admiral Kagami screamed as she sprinted towards the battleship dorms where a massive yellow gelatinous mass was surging from every opening in the wooden building as the structure strained to contain it, the wood creaking and cracking as it continued to grow.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Musashi yelled to the other battleships as she dug Type 3 shells from her magazines and threw them like darts in the intervals while her fairies loaded them into her cannons. Nagato, Mutsu, Kongo, Haruna, and Kirishima all yelled their affirmation before a roar of battleship cannons burst around the structure and shells slammed into the blob. The rounds slammed into the blob followed by their incendary payload bursting, doing next to nothing to the blob. Inazuma was hugging onto Yamato who was gently trying to calm the crying girl. She let lose with her cannons while carrying the other girl away from the building.

"YAMATO REPORT!" Kagami demanded as she stormed up to the super-battleship.

"Ma'am, approximately six minutes ago Inazuma-chan finished cleaning up the battleship dorms after lunch. Hiei-san had apparently decided she hadn't eaten enough so she went to make herself a grilled cheese sandwich. From what I have been able to get out of Inazuma-chan she was doing everything right up until she started heating the sandwich. At that point it appears something went wrong with the cheese and it came alive forming a monster and attacked Hiei-san. She is currently the only victim. Fuso-san, Yamashiro-san, Ise-san, and Hyuuga-san are all on sortie and everyone else was able to escape the dorms successfully," Yamato reported to the irate purple haired admiral as she closed her rigging protectively around the destroyer in her arms, shielding her from the admirals potential wrath.

"How did she manage to screw up making a grilled cheese sandwich!?" Kagami asked in exasperation before turning towards the sound of pounding feet. Fubuki and Oyoda were running over followed closely by an entire pack of destroyers and cruisers all fully rigged out. They were only in the lead for a second before a glowing mass of purple light shot from the pack, throwing the two lead ships out of the way as it blasted between them. The mass of purple light shot into the air, shattering the ground around it, before it took form. A massive chaotic torrent of amethyst energy surged around Tenryu before twisting and condensing into her sword as she began to descend towards the disintegrating building.

"EVERYONE GET CLEAR!" Fubuki screamed out the order as she saw what was about to happen. The war hardened battleships all reacted instinctively to their flagships command and dove away from the building as far as they could. Yamato rapidly opened her rigging and dragged Kagami inside, shielding her with her larger body and armor as she slammed the rigging shut again.

Tenryu descended like an avenging dragon, bringing her sword down in a massively powerful swing as energy arked out of it "竜牙天衝/Ryuga Tenshō (Dragon Fang Heaven-Piercer!)"

The energy arked from her katana and formed into a massive amethyst dragon that slammed into the building and blob. The devastating explosion surged for a second with blinding light before fading away to leave a pulverized crater. With Hiei at its center unconscious and very much naked, most of her skin appeared to have been removed as well if her bare muscle was any indication.

"WHERE IS INAZUMA!? SHE WAS THE DESTROYER ON DUTY TODAY WHERE IS SHE!?" Tenryu roared as she landed turning towards the nearest battleship, Musashi, she grabbed onto the massive womens shoulder and bodily lifted her from the ground, her visible eye burning with a purple flame and her mouth full of razor sharp fangs that made a good number of shipgirls shift away from her thinking of Insane Black Rock Shooter.

"Calm yourself Tenryu-san," Yamato said as she opened her rigging to let out those she was shielding, "Yamato has kept your charge safe."

The extremely worked up Tenryu looked relieved to see the sobbing Inazuma, causing her transformation to begin to recede. When Inazuma saw her though the girl began to cry again causing the light cruiser to look crestfallen as the destroyer's sister-ships raced forward to embrace her. Tatsuta looked at the scene frowning at her sistership who turned away and moved to help with Hiei. Her eyes narrowed in displeasure as the Admiral and Fubuki began to take charge of the situation and begin cleanup and investigation operations. Fubuki's Pack moved in to try and discover anything while Kagami grabbed Oyodo, "Go and get me Yuubari-san, she might be able to figure out what happened here."

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"That was a failure," Yuubari growled as she dumped the remaining samples of the Mega-Cheese into her laboratory's dedicated fusion reactor. The Admiral was going to be on a warpath and if there was any suspicion aimed her way she was sure they would turn her lab upside down. She needed to make sure that no evidence was left in case the Flagship and her hounds arrived.


	9. Rule 9

**9\. Anyone who wants to avoid a month long hospital stay is to avoid Fubuki, Ooi, and Shiranui's special boxes. - Admiral Kagami Izumi**

**9b. If someone does this looking to get out of work, you get at least double once you're cleared for duty. - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

**9c. if you did it because you're into that kind of thing, talk to Katori. She knows people who can handle you better and more safely. - Yokosuka Submarine Commander I-8**

* * *

"Please Fubuki~poi!" Yuudachi begged, Kawakaze beside her crimson faced but looking with uncharacteristically pleading eyes for the normally aggressive girl. Fubuki blinked at them a few times. She had expected this from Yudachi, but how did she manage to rope Kawakaze into this sort of thing. Well she supposed they might have just been getting curious. Her sisters were out right now so she had plenty of room and time to work, not that they wouldn't enjoy joining in.

"Alright girls stay here while I get everything set up," Fubuki said with a smile as she opened her door and slipped into her room. Her smile froze in place as she saw Iku getting railed on HER bed, in HER costume, while HER sewing supplies were tossed all over the room. To make matters worse she saw HER special box dragged out from under her bed and throne to the side, most of its contents spilled out across the school uniforms, dominatrix outfits, bunny suits, catgirl outfits, kimonos, cheongsams, puppy suits, shrine maiden robes, nun outfits, maid, military, idol uniforms, game and anime character outfits, and regal dresses that normally occupied her walk in closset. Those that weren't in use on Iku that is. Some clearly damaged as if tossed aside or stepped on. Fubuki moved quickly across the room and grabbed the shoulder of the man who was fucking Iku. He turned around in surprise just in time to feel a fist like a hammer slam into his chest, causing him to crash to the ground in agony as his brain caught up to the fact he was now sporting several broken ribs.

Fubuki grabbed the sailor by the hair and dragged him towards the door, opening it just enough to stick her head out she looked at the hopeful girls outside, "Sorry girls, I have to punish a disrespectful lewdmarine. Could you do me a favor and deal with this for me while I take care of that."

With those words she threw the man out of the room, a good chunk of his hair coming out as she bodily hurled him. Yudachi and Kawakaze looked blankly at the man with his pants around his ankles writhing on the ground as Fubuki closed the door. Turning back to the tied up Iku she grinned viciously. Iku was staring at her in fear but her boneless limbs weren't working to try and get her out of there.

"Now let's take care of you."

"Now Fubuki-san, please we can talk about thEEEAAAAAGGGHHHHH!"

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Hachi was enjoying a relaxing day in her room. So far there hadn't been any problems so she was curled up with a nice book in the depths of the labrintine underwater structure that housed the sub dorm and equipment storage. Her relaxing afternoon was disturbed as her antique phone range. Picking up the receiver she spoke, "This is Hachi."

"Iku got into my special box. I'm not apologizing."

With that the other end went click, cutting the line off. Hachi stared at the receiver blankly as Fubuki's words sunk in. In the end all she could do was groan. After a few seconds of thinking she decided that this was not worth the effort to intercede on seeing as Fubuki had already dealt with things.

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"Now, Iku-san, explain to me why you're back in the dock? You were discharged today," Hachi asked as she looked at the lewdmarine floating on her back in the heavy repair docks. One of her legs was missing and the other three were all twisted at impossible angles for normal limbs.

"Well, it was kind of exciting to be stared at like that from Fubuki-san but I was pretty sure she would kill me if I messed with her stuff again," Iku whimpered out, "So I dug through Shiranui-sans stuff."

Hachi sighed to herself as she facepalmed. Time to make an addition to the most recent entry on the list.


	10. Rule 10

**10\. Anyone who tries to call Ikazuchi Kaminari deserves the hit to the soft spot that they will get. - Yokosuka Destroyer Commander Tenryu**

* * *

"Thanks for the help Ikazuchi," Tenryu said as she adjusted the massive supply crate on her shoulder as the two of them walked towards the diminutive destroyer was hefting her own box the same size as she trundled along beside her caretaker, "No problem Tenryu-san. You can count on me!"

Tenryu smiled uncertainly at the destroyers back as the other younger girl sped up. She was glad that Inazuma's sisters at least weren't looking at her in terror, now she just needed to do something about the other brunette. She nodded to the base's Supply Officer as she moved over to the drop off area and set her box down. Once she made sure the boxes were lined up right she grabbed the clipboard from a nearby hanger and began to fill in the form for dropping off supplies. She knew that Ikazuchi was still nearby thanks to her radar so she wasn't terribly worried until she heard some dipshit who worked at the depot speak to her.

"Hey Kaminari-chan, helping Tenryu-san out today?"

Tenryu snapped her head up just in time to see the small girl uppercut the poor idiot in the crotch hard enough to lift his feet a good way off the ground. The man collapsed to the ground clutching his no doubt useless organs as the destroyer glared down at him viscously, "My name is Ikazuchi!"

* * *

**10b. No calling Akatsuki elephant lady, she just has a little speech impediment and is still getting the hang of some terminology. - Yokosuka Destroyer Commander Tenryu**

**she will beat you with a full sized anchor if you try to rile her up enough. - Japanese Flagship Fubuki**

* * *

"Come on Hibiki-chan, it's not elegant to drink so early," Akatsuki was pestering her sister while the stoic white haired destroyer calmly drank from her sake glass. Were it anyone else she probably would have left when they started talking about her drinking habits. Most of the other girls who had survived the war had some strange quirk. She had a soft spot for Akatsuki though so she silently listened to the raven haired girl talk about elegance. She silently picked up the sake jar and poured herself another cup, then another which she pushed towards Akatsuki.

"I am not drinking out here," The other destroyer waved her hand to indicate the park beside the anchor that marked the base entrance. She might have a point Hibiki mused as she leaned against the anchor in question and downed the drink before grabbing the one she poured for herself. There were a good number of other ships and base personnel walking around. She even saw Tenryu walking their way looking a little miffed.

"Oh look its the elephant lady," A mans voice spoke loudly as everyone froze to stare at the american marine who spoke, ignoring his friend trying to tell him to shut up.

"I am not an elephant lady! I am an Elegant Lady!" Akatsuki yelled back, her face flushing crimson as she was reminded of her embarrassing mistake when she had introduced herself to the new american contingent on base. Hibiki downed the sake in her cup and fixed the man with a glare so cold it would make the Siberian tundra look like a tropical resort.

"Sure thing Elephant Lady," The marine replied smirking, "I remember who you are Elephant Lady. We are getting some new guys in a few days and I will make sure they know what to call you Eleph…"

Hibiki had been just about to deal with the man when her older sister burst into motion, ripping the anchor up by its swivel and swinging it so that it slammed into the man hard enough to send him flying to the other end of the park. Cicadas were all that could be heard as she hefted the anchor onto her shoulder like she was wielding a battleaxe, "I am not an Elephant Lady! Understand?"

The man's companions were desperately checking his pulse and calling an ambulance while every other shipgirls or sailors in the area were looking at the girl trying to figure out if she was cute or terrifying. Tenryu marched forward, yanked the anchor out of Akatsuki's hands and wrapped an arm around the girl's midriff, lifting her into the air. She carefully set the anchor down as she ignored the struggling girl in her arms and turned to Hibiki, "If you're gonna drink at this time of day do it inside squirt. Now come on, I have to deal with this one and make an entry into the list and I'm shit at this stuff so I'll need your help to word it official sounding."

* * *

**10d. Calling Akagi a gluttonous fiend will usually end up with a severe beating by certain other carriers. - Yokosuka Carrier Commander Zuikaku**

**10e. No matter how true it can be. - Yokosuka Secretary Ship Ooyodo**

* * *

"Come on Akagi, its your Launch Day, you can order as much as you want," Kaga said as she tried to convince the other carrier to cut loose. They had rented the fanciest restaurant on base for the day so the only remaining hurtle was the conditioning that they had had to do to the carrier to make sure she didn't eat enough to force a restaurant to have to close until they could get more food in.

"Are you sure though," Akagai asked the rest of the party which consisted of the rest of the Japanese carriers, as well as Fubuki, Yuudachi, Mutsuki, and a handful of other destroyers that were commonly the carrier's escorts. Fubuki spoke up with a tired grin, "Just today its alright, eat as much as you want Akagi-senpai."

Akagi beamed before turning to the waiter and beginning to order.

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**

"How much is she going to eat?" The cook asked as he began to make yet another dish.

One of his waitresses looked incredibly frazzled as she brought back empty plates and moved to grab the dishes that had been prepared in the meantime, "That Gluttonous Fiend isn't even slowing down. She ordered five more… dishes…"

A hand was clamped tight onto her shoulder as Kaga's eyes drilled into the back of the girls head, "What did you just call my Akagi?"

The terrified waitress slowly turned her head to see the angry woman engulfed in azure flames.

I cœur 人類

Fubuki sighed as she wrote out a check to the restaurant owner and a blank one to the ambulance driver, "Just fill in however much the cost for her medical expenses will be. This will come out of Legal so you will need to wait at least a week for it to clear."

"I know Fubuki-san," Dr Jo Kido replied with a weary look "I've had to deal with this enough times to know how the money chain works now. At first I couldn't believe they devoted an entire team including three doctors to this, but with the number of civilians that get hospitalized on or around the base, I honestly get it now."

"She's loaded up sensei," The nurse called from the back of the ambulance before closing the door.

"Well, looks like it's time to go."

* * *

**10f. Calling Ryuujou a flat top will results in a similar beating from a somewhat different group than the ones doing it for Akagi. - American Pacific Flagship Enterprise**

* * *

Independence, Bon Homme Richard, and Shangri-La all slumped into their chairs in the aircraft carrier dorms and groaned.

"Damn that short-stack, how is someone that smol that frickin strong?" Richard grumbled as she massaged one of the many bruises the energetic, hard-ass Japanese light carrier Ryuuhou had given her during training. The massive number of foreign deployed US ships was freeing up the Japanese shipgirls to send trainers to other countries seeing as they were the oldest and most experienced with their human forms and how they could use that to fight differently than when they were steel and oil. Today she had been drilling one simple thing into their heads.

"DOOOOODDDGGEEEEE!" a deep voice screamed out and all three girls threw themselves over the back of their chairs, rolled and came up in a fighting crouch to see the confused Little Lexington staring at them frozen mid-step with what sounded like DBZ Abridged playing from her phone if the sounds of Piccolo training Gohan was any indication. The door behind them opening and Saratoga's voice broke them from their shock as Independence growled out, "That damn flat top probably gets a kick out of this."

They heard the sound of heavy feet on wood as Saratoga called out, "Ryu-chan, wait!"

Turning around they saw Saratoga looking distraught as a small brunette in red running off crying and hugging her chest tightly, a look of embarrassed shame on her face. The room was silent for several seconds before Saratoga turned towards them, a demonic crimson aura rising around the motherly carrier as a figure of a nun wielding a massive cross appeared in the air behind her and a dragon rose from her shadow and coiled in the air around her waist, "Independence, I think we need to talk."

I cœur 人類

"So," Enterprise spoke to Little Lex and Shangri-La while Richard was trying to get the catatonic Independence to stop sucking her thumb and uncurl from the ball she was twisted into, "Are we fine with blaming this on Independence. I really don't want to try and confront Sara about this. She can be scary when angry, especially when Ryuujou-san is involved."

"I'm completely alright with that," they both said in unison.


End file.
